Bad Things I Did Over The Snow Break

Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I learned a great deal about myself, and old habits and how I feel. For some crazy ass reason, I decided to jump head first off the wagon I’ve been happily riding. Everything I did on Friday/Saturday…I have not done all month or longer. I drank too much. I smoked ciggarettes. I ate fast food for the hangover. I ate meat. I drank a real coke.

and I felt horrible. so horrible that I had to cancel plans that I made with Chris and Cindy. So horrible that after rehearsals yesterday I still felt just drained and had to forgo a birthday party of my friend.

Sigh.

So. Today. Today I’m better. I have been detoxing with lots of water and good nutritious foodstuffs. I have decided that I dislike greatly the Morningstar maple breakfast sausage. Im not saying that I’m never eating meat again. I’m not saying that at all. My family always buys and shares with me their fresh stuffs…which sounds great right now. I was just really really amazed at how badly eating like that took me out at the knees.

and I used to eat that way EVERY SINGLE DAY.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I would have some fast food or grab something fast or whatever. Gross. and I feel guilt. not because I ate meat. but for what I did to my body, and how it made me feel.

I feel stressed about lines and the play. We open in 18 days and seriously should be way more advanced in rehersals than we are…and the director isn’t too worried but I am. SO…I’m getting off here and turning off the tv and getting my script. Tonight we’re meeting early for extra line rehearsals and I’m hoping beyond hope that I can walk in solid. Really really solid. and in general I am but my scene partner isn’t which tends to throw me way off…gah. It’s a vicious circle of gloom and doom.

Send me some light over here, folks.

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8 Responses to Bad Things I Did Over The Snow Break

  1. Kizz says:

    You’ll walk in solid which means you’ll be able to feel your way through without despair around your rocky partner. That in turn will make you more solid. You’ll be great!

    Think of what you wouldn’t know about both your old and new ways of eating if you hadn’t fallen off the wagon into a back double twisting pike. Now you know. Now you’ll deal. Now you’re smarter.

    You’re always smarter.

  2. Chris says:

    I didn’t like the Morningstar maple breakfast sausage patties for the longest time because Cindy had either fixed them in the microwave or in a pan on the stovetop. It wasn’t until our friends Tif and Tom made them in a toaster oven that I liked them. Maybe that is the key. Still, I prefer uncured, nitrate-free, hormone-free bacon.

    Just get your lines solid. And don’t worry until it’s time to worry. You still have three weeks left, and a lot of good stuff can still happen this week. It just started. Deep breath. When you’re focused on your worry, you’re not focused on lines.

  3. Nancy says:

    You are way too hard on yourself girl. Live and learn, bless it and let it go.

  4. Misti says:

    Ok, and the Field Roast Itallian Sausage? I dont know if I like it or not…sigh.

  5. Cindy says:

    The Field Roast Italian Sausage is best if cooked in a skillet or in the broiler. If you chop it up and put in spaghetti sauce, you’re better off sauteing in a skillet and adding it at the last minute. It gets soggy.

    Take a deep breath. Plays and lines and all the crap that goes with always has it’s moment of panic. But every time I’ve seen you, it’s all ended up perfect. You are fabulous.

  6. Chris says:

    RE: But every time I’ve seen you, it’s all ended up perfect. You are fabulous.

    That’s pretty much why I can’t bring myself to worry about you and lines.

  7. Chrome says:

    *clap*
    *clap*

    I just turned on some light for you.

  8. Mamo says:

    You are our star!!! Quit worrying, just have your meltdown and press on, you are the best!!! We all can see it, although you have troubles believing it…I got so stressed I actually had a diet coke this evening…and I have felt so much better without…just make moderate changes one or two things at a time (that is what your sis counsels). I believe in you and love you. Remember you are God’s child and He loves you and his plans are for your good…Jer.29:11 (I think that is the verse)

    Mamo

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