Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I learned a great deal about myself, and old habits and how I feel. For some crazy ass reason, I decided to jump head first off the wagon I’ve been happily riding. Everything I did on Friday/Saturday…I have not done all month or longer. I drank too much. I smoked ciggarettes. I ate fast food for the hangover. I ate meat. I drank a real coke.
and I felt horrible. so horrible that I had to cancel plans that I made with Chris and Cindy. So horrible that after rehearsals yesterday I still felt just drained and had to forgo a birthday party of my friend.
So. Today. Today I’m better. I have been detoxing with lots of water and good nutritious foodstuffs. I have decided that I dislike greatly the Morningstar maple breakfast sausage. Im not saying that I’m never eating meat again. I’m not saying that at all. My family always buys and shares with me their fresh stuffs…which sounds great right now. I was just really really amazed at how badly eating like that took me out at the knees.
and I used to eat that way EVERY SINGLE DAY.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I would have some fast food or grab something fast or whatever. Gross. and I feel guilt. not because I ate meat. but for what I did to my body, and how it made me feel.
I feel stressed about lines and the play. We open in 18 days and seriously should be way more advanced in rehersals than we are…and the director isn’t too worried but I am. SO…I’m getting off here and turning off the tv and getting my script. Tonight we’re meeting early for extra line rehearsals and I’m hoping beyond hope that I can walk in solid. Really really solid. and in general I am but my scene partner isn’t which tends to throw me way off…gah. It’s a vicious circle of gloom and doom.
Send me some light over here, folks.