Bandwidth

August.

I’m finishing my first week of The Month. I’ve been gone every night. Last night’s CST meeting was in Shawnee, I got home after the 10 o’clock news had already started.

Mark had an unruly and unusually jacked up day yesterday.

We are living among boxes and hallways full of mattresses and trying to find the time to get things wrapped up at the house. That sale looks like it is in the works, but it’s happening in an odd and super fast way, so I’ve been trying to get my end prepared.

I had to cancel the trip to Arkansas this weekend. We just have too much to do.

I’m so sad about that. I need to see my family.

But we also have to get this house taken care of. And we have to get these boxes moved and unloaded and finished.

And next week I have exactly one night where I don’t have a recruiting event.

But you know what? I fucking love this job.

And these women volunteers in my district? I think I’ve got most of them to believe me when I say that this is important work we’re doing. And the opportunity to tell a girl that she can in fact do anything, is not only a honor but it’s something that we should be able to offer all girls. Not just the ones in the age range we want to work with. Every. Girl.

I get my dvr today. It was but for the Grace of Lilli my friend and I could’ve gotten it yesterday but I had zero minutes. Today! DVR! Breaking Bad begins Sunday!

Which means that this time last year we were in Taos. Sigh.

This month. . . woof. I don’t know if I have the bandwidth to survive. I will likely arrive at my office with wet hair more days than not. I will likely have to write myself notes and between the eleventy million full time jobs we have going, Girl Scouts, OU, Norman house, sell Brokedownnomore Palace, find time to be with family, get ready for Colorado which means car maintenance, camp prepping and gathering, find time to be with friends, get the house in order so that we can have our friends over….I don’t know if I have the bandwidth to do it all perfectly well.

But I will do it with the secure knowledge that I’m exactly where I am supposed to be. There is love in this house. There will be some order soon. And this morning, I get to take some cookies to a friend who had some bad news this week.

Then it’s time to take on the world.

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5 Responses to Bandwidth

  1. Kizz says:

    Whew. So much. But all in the right direction!

  2. Lisa says:

    You are a gem! Been thinking about you a lot and love my cookies. Thank you so much. Got to see my little kitty again yesterday. Hope to bring her home today but the prognosis is not great. Hoping for a little bit more time with her, so I can be with her as we work through this scary grief. So.so.so.much…. xoxoxox

  3. Sarah says:

    I have been consumed by all the mess we have going on here and not kept up with your writing, but I had some time today to sit and read.

    Remember last spring when I said “just one hard month”? Tell yourself that again. Lord woman, moving on top recruiting month? That is a tough month, but you have a rare combination of grace, humor, and tenacity. You will see it through. I am glad that you and Mark can at least enjoy your at home moments more now that you won’t be living out of two houses. One month. You can do it.

    And about houses and letting go of things to take new risks and make new commitments – it is a little scary, but all forward progress and growth is. No one said this Bliss thing was easy, just that we would be fulfilled. Good for you.

  4. Cindy says:

    I saw the pictures of empty Brokedown Palace and it made my heart crack a tiny bit. I don’t think any other tiny kitchen could hold as many wonderful memories as that one. But the new place is pretty dang awesome. The kitchen is bigger which means it will hold more memories.

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