Restless

I’ve been awake since 3am.

I was so exhausted when I got home from work I just flopped and fell asleep early. But it wasn’t good sleep. My bed is wrecked. My whole house is wrecked. I’ve got piles of clothes to get rid of at the garage sale. Stacks of things to donate. I want to show the house this weekend to a potential seller and it’s just not in any kind of shape right now. So my brain focused on all of that over and over and over last night. Over. and Over. I was cold then I was hot and then my pillows felt like rocks so I just got up and gave up.

I’m ready to sell this house. I want to have the time it is going to take to get it ready TO sell. I don’t know where that time is.

I do know where it isn’t. It’s not in Norman. It’s not at the house I want to be in. It’s not tinkering with the new trailer.

There’s the rub.

Most all of the restlessness is stemming from what my day holds today.

I’ll be attending the funeral of the 9 year old Girl Scout that lost her life in the tornado.

I’ve been to one infant/child funeral before.

I never want to do it again. Ever.

So there is the anxiety.

Sunday is my first G.S. community event and I’ve been preparing for that but the unknown is still there, and I’m restless over that too. Usually we can take adjusted time for weekend work, but Monday morning brings a big Strategic Planning meeting and I’ve been placed on a GAP Team regarding branding/social media etc and truly, I’m excited about working on that…

I also have a niggling feeling in the back of my brain about a few friends. They have basically just dropped off the radar. My feelings are it’s always my fault. I’m busy. I haven’t reached out enough. I haven’t touched base. So that’s in my head, too…

I put out a call for someone to deep clean this house and got back a name from Bill. It’ll be a win/win situation once I get things picked up and put up. This is a time for working smarter and I’m fine with paying someone to clean. Fine with it.

The weather has been nuts again this week. High threat of tornado potential, much talk of being weather-aware in central Oklahoma. The effects are far reaching. My hips and joints are achy, things feel…restless and unsettled.

Writing it out, getting it all out of my brain helps. Coffee helps. Watering my flowers and packing another sack of stuff to take to Norman also helps.

This day will soon enough pass…the tears and emotions will subside. Comfort awaits.

Here’s hoping that whatever your weekend holds, that it is a rest-FULL one for you.

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4 Responses to Restless

  1. Sarah says:

    You have a lot on your plate and almost of it involves a great emotional involvement, whether you are selling your house or going to a funeral. So you water and pack and can’t sleep – no point in fretting about the lost sleep now. It is what it is. I had a lot of that going last spring – moving, selling our house, quitting a job and finding a new one, even a funeral. There were times I just sat in the middle of the mess and bawled because it was just too much.

    Sometimes, you just do your best knowing that somehow, you will get it all done because, well, you always do. At times, doing our best involves a little bit of falling apart and then moving on with the day. Peace, grace, and a good sleep tonight be on you, Misti.

  2. Back a few weeks ago, on a Sunday in May, this really smart blond gal smiled a great big smile, looked me directly in the eye and said, “Just remember to breathe. Everything is going to be just fine. You are (all) truly amazing.”

    So now I smile and say to you Miss Misti, “Just remember to breathe. Everything is going to be just fine. Because YOU are truly amazing.”

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