I thought I’d do a Thankful Friday post because….
well if you’ve been reading any Ridiculous this week you know it’s a freakin miracle that I’ve made it to Friday with motor skills and relationships in tact.
I spent about 14 hours working on the paper, 12 of those in the library yesterday. I re-researched. I re-read. I re-organized. I deleted. I added. I cut and pasted. I re-worked and re-wrote and re-thought every single word in what turned into a 20 page paper.
Now. When I rolled into the house about 11pm last night, I knew several things:
a) I actually enjoy this kind of work.
b)my academic “voice” is still not fully formed. I really really struggle with my creative voice. . . and that makes me wonder and question. . .
c)this paper, while I am sure that probably needs revising, especially before I send it with my ph.d applications, and then present it at the conference in February, is for all intents and purposes…finished. I think, considering where it came from, that it might be good “enough” for the class grade. I’m wary of saying that, but I know that time has run out. I know I’ve done what my professor asked. So at some point, after I do some checking, some polishing, and more double checking, I will have to submit it for a grade.
d)today is the final class session of the semester. all I have to do is take notes to use during our “final” writing session next wednesday.
e)I have a final that I really must study for, Literary Cricisicm. But I’m so not stressed about that right now.
f)I am so thankful that I survived this semester. I have no idea what grades I will get. This is the time where I start talking to myself in terms of “it’s ok if you don’t get A’s”…but seriously. I’m thankful for finishing.
g)I’m so thankful for Mark. For his patience and support.
h) and I am so thankful for YOU. YOU that I haven’t seen in weeks and months. YOU that have been quietly and patiently waiting for me to return to living and not judging or being angry. Your support…well this whole damn thing would have derailed months ago without you.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THANKFUL FRIDAY ya’ll!