It’s the day of the test, ya’ll.
As I went to sleep, I repeated the mantra, “It will be fine. You can take it again. Go do what you can do.”
Here’s what I know.
With some reasonable, meditative kind of mindset my chances of doing well on the Reasoning and the Verbal are beyond good. My chances of doing well on the Quantative are dependent on how calm I can remain and not block myself because I have the fear of the math, and the lack of any recall on doing anything aside from counting and basic functions.
It was years ago, grade school years, when I was diagnosed with dyscalculia. I remember having to do “therapy” but that wasn’t ever really enforced at home, so it just kind of went away. I flip numbers. I skip, skim, delete numbers altogether. At that point, comprehension becomes a mute point.
But I have people in my life who can and will help me, should I decide do to this a second time and raise that score.
I know that the admittance is not based solely on this test score.
I also know that everyone applying to these programs will be the best of the best.
I want to be part of that group.
No matter what happens, this will be done by 1:00 pm today. During these morning hours, in that moment between thoughts, as you’re applying on some chapstick, or refilling your cup of tea, as you’re walking from your car into work, or trying not to get frustrated on your commute because there’s some jackhole on your train that smells like patchouli, in that space between the space in your brain…
send a little focus my way, would you?
Buster sent me a GRRR GRRRRRRRRR which translates into KICK THIS TEST’S BUTT! (I’m sure)
For you, Buster, I will give it my all.