He’s already seeing someone else. I swear to God. Texts on his phone confirm. And yes, I check it. I have always checked it. Because I’ve never trusted him. DUH. Plus I pay for that mother on my bill so I figure it’s mine to do with what I want, including cancelling it if Sprint will be so gracious to do so. Doubtful.
I got two texts around the same time last night on my phone from people I know were at the bar, who obviously saw them together and figured it out. And it’s not so much that he’s with someone else, it’s that they are up there at the place I LIKE TO GO TO! With some of my people. Ugh. annoyed is what I am.
I told him last night that I didn’t know what this weekend was really going to encompass. I’m supposed to go to Arkansas until Tuesday but I don’t see how I can do that…I need to be PACKING AND GETTING THE FUCK OUT. And I also said, “don’t bring anyone into my house until I’m out” He just looked shocked. And it doesn’t matter that I say that and he says ok, he’ll do whatever he damn well pleases anyway because that is how he operates. What he wants and when he wants it.
Am I pissed about the other girl? Not her specifically. I don’t think. It’s not like I wanted him/want him. Is it just because they are gross all over the bar that used to be mine? territorial thing? I am pretty territorial. WHY DO I CARE??? Annoyed. It’s embarrassing. true. But it’s not my embarrassment, I’m not owning that.
I’ve packed about 4 boxes and oh my GOD you guys. . . endless. It feels endless and hopeless and what the fuck am I going to do?!?!?!?!? I’m not whining, or crying. Not really stressing. I guess I’m just having a bit of a blowout. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.
And as I type out loud, the cats scatter away wondering what the hell’s gotten into Mom.
and I need suggestions as to where to go for boxes. He brought three from the bar. Beer boxes are good, so there should be more where those came from…I’m getting boxes from work today…
I think I’m just going to get packed, order a U-haul, beg strong men, possibly my father for help (am moving a piano people. those are hea-bee as Wonderboy says)and try to get this shit done by next Sunday…
Should I just move my clothes and cats and start living there this weekend when I come back? Then just move boxes at a time, after work and whatnot? I hate HATE leaving my stuff here unsupervised. Now, that IS me tweaking out on being territorial.
And does anyone know how to get my Itunes music off of this computer and onto my laptop? Joe? Ideas? At this point, I could give a shit but am trying to cover all the bases.
I have to say, sleeping in that other bed SUCKS ASS. I wake up I swear every single hour. Me and whatever cat. I just can’t sleep. I try breathing exercise, meditation, and all that does is clear my head to start mentally packing and moving. Waking up remembering not to pack the Harry Potter’s because Madchen(MAY-chen) is reading them right now and wouldn’t that suck to pack them away mid series.
So. forget all that no need to say anything but good game bullshit I said earlier…I need community response and insight. I’m at the bottom of my resource of energy getting through the last phase and working out of this one. I’m just focusing on being moved, living life on the frontier with the kitties. All 7 of them. And working on loving life and myself again.
But first I freaking have to pack all this shit.
and did nobody like my koala joke? I laughed until I fell off my chair. Oh well. It worked on me!!!