The Man, The Mountain and Those Two Dudes Under The Puppet

When we left for Harvest Fest last Wednesday, we were in that frenzy “getallthethingscrossedoffthelist” but we did. We got the car packed and all of the things in Tetris like fashion and off we went to meet Trish and her fam and then BOOM! We were on the road and the work phone was turned off and left at home and all things were possible and right!

Getting to Mulberry Mountain so early (We have never set up camp in daylight before at that place) meant that our campsite was SUPER close to the festival grounds and for one moment we were unsure about the noise and how that would work out but we rolled with it and proceeded to set up the three tents, one potty tent, two pop-ups which became our kitchen and living room, complete with hanging lanterns and floor heaters. We really don’t mess around.

I will tell you that camping is still one of the best things, in spite of the mattress with the slow leak that makes you feel like you’re sleeping on a sloshy waterbed by the morning, in spite of the cramped conditions and the hippy kids that you can hear talking from your tent at night, in spite of dude with the booming voice who clearly does not care about anyone else in the camp when he begins his stupid talking at the earliest possible hours of the morning.

I will tell you that the music was amazing. We saw the Jayhawks give a great show, The Oh Hello’s, Rose’s Pawn Shop, Trampled by Turtles all in one lineup on Thursday. We were all so exhausted that we were almost crying trying to stay up for TbT and when we stumbled back to camp and went to sleep and froze our bippies off on the coldest night ever, it really didn’t matter. We slept. We awoke. We had great camp coffee and breakfast and did it all over again!

Mark and I talked several times about being there two years ago and the magic of it all. About how things all started at that festival and about how this year is different but still awesome. We knew that it would be a different festival but we kept finding moments of magic and just laughing with each other about “remember last time…?”

I will tell you that the weather could not have been more perfect. Gorgeous temps, sunshine enough to need sunscreen during the day but breeze enough to keep things cool and enough shade to seek solace at times when we needed it. It was perfection.

Friday was a good day of music and I wish I could tell you who we listened to but I cannot. I know that we drank delicious beers, we napped, we listened to music, we ate amazing pulled pork sandwiches at camp and then suddenly it was the evening and Mark was just tweaky. Every time I would look up he would be gone somewhere. I couldn’t keep track of him.

The group had decided that we would just park our chairs at the main stage and sit and watch the lineup and have a chill night. The music was good, but no one made us lose our minds. The hula-hoop watching was pretty spectacular though. At one point, Mark reappeared and said come with me. We walked over to the giant octopus puppet–there are giant puppets that during the shows, people will either wear or take out into the madness of hippy stew that happens at the front of the stage and it’s pretty fun to watch–we danced under that puppet two years ago–the puppet wasn’t out in the madness yet so we walked over and under it and Mark turned to me and said:

“Will you marry me?”

I was shocked and crying and laughing and of course I said YES YES YES about a thousand times. We were both laughing and crying and kissing and hugging. And then at one point, he said, “Oh I’m supposed to be on my knees, right?” So he got down on his knees and asked me again and again I said YES YES YES and more laughing and more crying and more talking and hugging.

At one point I looked over and there were two dudes laying on the ground under the puppet clearly just tripping hard on something. They giggled at us, all glassy eyed and one turned to the other and said, “dude I am never going to forget this moment!” (at which point he likely forgot that moment completely)

And once again, our lives changed at that festival, on that mountain. Just like that. Forever.

We had no cell service on the mountain so it really was just us for another day, lots of laughing and hugging and well wishes. We decided that no internet broadcasting until our families were told and when we finally did the world just unleashed so much love and happiness our way that it felt like we got engaged all over again!

We are on the search for the perfect ring, we have just barely begun discussing what we want to do in terms of a wedding/ceremony/celebration/event. Life is trying it’s best to get back in front of us with work and the Depot and obligations and all things clogging up the calendar.

I will tell you though…that we are both so happy. We feel the love and the light from all around and can’t wait to see what’s next!

That mountain…it is magical.

Life is good.

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Fury

Why is it that life is busiest right before you leave for a vacation? It’s the most tumultuous, the most frenzied, there are more things to be done, more places to be more things to check off than at any other time. What the hell, Universe? Come ON!

I’ve been furious lately.

Furiously working, furiously putting troops together, making calls, following up on a section of leads that needed it. We are in this place with work where we don’t quite have the future, and can’t quite quit the past, we are doing better in some places and worse in others. What we *thought the process would be…isn’t. What we were *told the end game would be…hasn’t. So we scramble and we do the best we can and we still get shitty attitude and have knee jerk reactions and feel like we’re the ONLY ONES WORKING DAMNIT.

Because work has eaten me alive, all things on the home front suffer as well. The house, the relationship, all of it. And I get this deep seeded anger that boils underneath the surface at the whole situation. At the hairballs in the corner and the guest room that must be cleaned before house-sitting guests arrive this week. At the lack of forward motion on so many projects and the fact that I can’t do a damn thing about it because by the time I get home I’m completely tapped out. Except for the fury.

Displaced as it is, it’s leaking out all over my life and I need to figure out how to staunch the flood.

I’m looking forward to going back to the mountain for Harvest Fest tomorrow. I’m looking forward to several days surrounded by peace and love and music and soaking up the place where my life completely changed two years ago. I hope to reconnect with this life that I love, with this man that I love and slow down enough to be able to say the words and think the thoughts and sing the songs. I want to laugh with my friends and to get back to what’s really important.

Two years ago I rolled onto that mountain fresh off of taking the GRE, with deadlines and papers and work and bills chomping at my heels. My life was solely focused on surviving day to day and finishing grad school. I needed that long weekend two years ago, like I need it today.

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The Weight/Wait of a Calendar and other Good Things

It was a good day.

Oklahoma is now a Gay Marriage State. I swore it would happen. I mean, we were the last state to ban tattoos and those are legal now. Seriously. Growing up, tattoos were forbidden, they were taboo. One had to cross a state line or “go to a guy I know who works out of his garage.” I was taught that tattoos were of the same evil weight as KISS or any other non Amy Grant music.

And then one day, boom. Legal.

 

* let me say that I’m not comparing gay marriage to the plight of the tattoo in Oklahoma. I’m just saying that what once seemed impossible…its now possible.

I am so beyond thrilled for my friends here in this terminally red state. Friends who get the same rights as the rest of us. I’ve offered up my officiating services to anyone who wants them. I hope they take me up on it!

After that joyous bit of news I dove head first into work. It was one of those good work days where tasks got crossed off the list, much forward motion. I have reason to believe that tomorrow’s Parent Info meeting will produce a new troop as will the one for next Tuesday. That’s what it’s all about on my end people. Recruiting adults and girls. Making it happen. Follow through. Making sure no one slips through the cracks.

The weekend reunion was full of laughter. I had so much fun on Friday night it was ridiculous. Saturday was fun too, just a different vibe altogether. Sunday was a blissful day full of nothing. Seriously. I didn’t even get out of my pj’s. Ever. I had the most relieved sense of the calendar…like finally all of the big things that had to be done…were done.

Until today when I started to try to find a weekend to go see my family in Arkansas. I’ve tried several times since July but work always interfered. I have worked most every weekend in August and September and the weekends that I had trips planned, more working popped up. When I looked at the calendar, it became clear that if we don’t go this coming weekend, I don’t have another free one until November 15th.

I don’t have another free weekend until November 15th.

What in the holy hell…is it hot in here? Can you breathe? Because I can’t breathe.

It makes me crazy to think about. Mark and I got our calendars and started marking our Thanksgiving and Christmas days off because that’s when it will happen next. And that makes me just crazy.

But this life is for the living, right? And wouldn’t I just be pissed if I wasted it, wasted one single weekend/day/week/month/moment?

I was surrounded by classmates all weekend. Some of us have aged well. Some of us have seen rough days and long nights. Some of us have fought fierce battles and won. Some of us haven’t had to fight for much at all. That connecting thread though, that moment when we’re all outside and laughing and singing at the top of our lungs we remember that we were a witness to each other’s life. And that matters. The living matters.

So I’m going to Arkansas on Friday. There are soccer games and a corn maze on the schedule for Saturday with my nephews. Fresh hair for all. Then home on Sunday to prep and leave for Harvest Fest on Wednesday. Harvest Fest. Remember when we went there? Remember the mud and the rain and the music and the Mark? 

We’re going back to the scene of the crime, ya’ll. I’m excited. Mark and I met there two years ago this month. Can you believe it? Two years? Trish and Bruce and Riley and her friend will go and we shall camp and we shall listen to amazing music. Seriously. That Thursday lineup is killer. And we shall celebrate dancing under giant puppets in the mud two years ago and the way it changed our lives forever.

Today a lot of lives were changed forever. For the better.

In spite of the weighty calendar, it was a pretty damn good Monday.

The wait is over.

Love love love.

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Back Again

I’ve had owned this blog for awhile now. Back before we went to Pagosa Springs we began the transfer, and then finished it after we got back. I’ve thought about writing, actually worked up some posts in my head but every time there has been a spare second to even begin the work, something else took precedence.

August and September were chock full of work. work. and more work. It’s been a 6 day a week, 12 or more hours a day gig since August and it has been exhausting and mentally draining. Mark’s life has been all Depot all the time. Closing one concert series and starting another, new ticketing system, new board members, new processes. It’s a lot. d We’ve attempted to throw in some house organization, garage sale/donation of stuff. It has been a whirlwind…complete with whiplash.

I feel like today for the first time, I can catch my breath.

The work has been bookended by major events and trips.

I rappelled off of a 16 story building in August.

We went to Santa Fe/Pagosa Springs the end of August.

This weekend was my 25th high school reunion.

And, sure, we head back to Harvest Fest in two weeks for our final vacation of the year but that brings zero stress to me.

Today I feel like I can breath and it’s been quite a while since I’ve felt that way.

We have zero things that must be done today. I’m still in my sweats and watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I’ve a roast in the crock pot and have made some half hearted attempts to pick up the firtch around the house. There have been catnaps and peanut butter sandwiches mixed in with some Facebooking. And really, that’s fine by me.

And I’m here. Writing again.

I’ll call this a pretty successful Sunday.

 

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Hanging the Sign

The time has come to actually move all of this content to some other space.

Back several years ago Chris said, “I’ve got room, you should totally turn your blog from Zelda Pinwheel to Mistiridiculous.”

He said a lot of other stuff that sounded to me like this: Merherhjiosierrioguiourg giggabite klweroidrelj;ej thermocouplelk;shjnekrushe domain and host space dlskerjelj I’ll do it.

Ok.

And voila my blog moved from blogger to wordpress and I went from Zelda to Mistiridiculous.

And then it all went to shit because he got sick and died. And I have no idea about any of it, and have never paid for any of it and that has always bothered me, partly because I don’t want to be a burden and partly because I don’t like not being in control of my own space.

And now I have to figure out the who what where this space is going. And I’m thinking about what I want it to be. And what I want it not to be. And while the deadline isn’t right ON TOP OF ME…it looms.

And quite frankly, it’s just not something I’m ready to figure out right now just as recruitment season is here and while there’s never a good time to figure out things you don’t have any desire to figure out, I’ve decided to just quit for awhile.

So I’m going to get the content. Mark is going to do some research. And we’ll make some choices. I haven’t been writing much as of late.

I’ve got some things to tell you about like the house concert that we’re having next Saturday where Mark, Brad, Lisa and I are going to perform for a handful of friends.

I want to tell you about the essential oil bandwagon I jumped on and how much I love it and how I’m not taking ambien every single night anymore. I want to tell you about Winnie. and my garden and the vacations we’ve had and will have.

And I might.

But this space has become more of a chore for me now. More of a thing that I have to get figured out.

And that puts stress on me, so I’m just going to remove the stress. I’ll show back up somewhere and you’ll all know about it.

But till then…I’m hanging the sign. closedblog

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Peaceful Morning

I hate that I wake up so early on the weekends now. Between the sun and my internal clock and Winnie, there’s no sleeping in. The beauty of it, is that once I get up, get all of the livestock fed, get the coffee made, I can sit outside and enjoy the garden, and the birds and listen to our sprinkler system finish cycling. It really is lovely. We’ve reached that point in the summer where these temps are the only ones worth being outside in.

Yesterday is finished and thank GOD we survived. We were over-staffed in the US Open booth, and while most of everyone was ok with not working their tails off, there were the few expected sour attitudes. Seriously. It must be exhausting to be so so so very sour inside and out. Even the booth manager from the concession management team noticed it and said something to me. I apologized for her attitude, and made sure that he understood that her attitude wasn’t representative of Girl Scouts,  and that we all were happy to help in this booth and work together. Yesterday was hot, but not as bad as last Tuesday and not as bad as today and tomorrow will be. I’m pretty thankful that my tours of duty are behind me.

I couldn’t be more blessed with better people who stepped up and gave time and talent to work the tent yesterday. Friends from all parts of my life said YES! YES I will help! And they did.

This morning, I’m saying yes to another cup of coffee, and then to planning my morning. I’ve got to procure a birthday present for Marks niece, and get some shopping chores done before we go to her birthday party up in Edmond. Tonight we have band rehearsal. Still no name, and August 2nd is getting closer!

The countdown is on till FamilyPalooza 2014. Emails and FB group posts are flying. It’ll be here soon and we are all frothy with anticipation.

I say yes to the froth and yes to the coffee and watering my garden. I say yes to birthdays and music tonight.

YES YES YES!

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Wheeeee!

Our Videos Are Here! Our Videos Are Here!

Did you feel the energy on social media yesterday? I was in and out and not in front of a computer so I didn’t get to watch it unfold on everyone’s page like I wanted to. It’s so exciting! I was so happy to see the announcement and so honored that National LTYM used my photo to do it! YAY~

And terrifying.

It’s one thing to stand on a stage, being backed by support, and speak your truth to a room full of strangers. We’ve had rehearsals and we’ve had discussions and you feel, actually FEEL the energy and support as you tell your story. It’s a wildly transformative experience.

However, it’s a horse of another feather to have your story posted on YouTube and have a global audience. It’s completely different and nerve wracking and scary as shit to hear your own voice, to see your face and re-live the moment that you barely really remember from all those weeks ago.

What will the response be? Will someone be hurt by the words? Will people be mean on the comments? Will anyone watch or care at all?

It’s like peeling back the band-aid too early. We’re all a little gooey and tender yesterday…today.

I’m proud of our shows. All 32 of them. I haven’t begun to listen to them yet, but I can’t wait.

Tomorrow is another day working the concession booth at the US Sr. Open golf tourney up at Oak Tree.

Tuesday I worked. It was maybe about as fun as when Trish and Gabe and I went to Wakarusa and woke up into 100 degree weather. Except without the music, without the crazy camping neighbors that we fed, without the river and the hippy chicks shaving each other’s legs. Without the eclectic vibe of every stinky pot-selling hula-hooping glow in the dark ball swinging feral child on the planet surrounding us. Without any of the fun stuff.

Tomorrow however, I’ve get to work with friends who have signed up for this gig with me and that’ll be fun. I’ve got several GS Alumnae signed up too and I worry about them but it will all work out fine. We were super slow on Tuesday, and in fact, over staffed with what we had. The actual tourney begins today, so hopefully that will pick up the pace a bit. I dread it though, I’ll tell ya that. Tuesday it was over 100 degrees in that tent and I kept drinking power aid and water etc but by the time I got back to my car about 4:30 pm, I had the worst headache and nausea ever. I drove straight home, walked into the house and directly into a cold shower. Mark took me out to get some dinner then I came home, put on my cool night gown and laid down on the bed under the ceiling fan with the a/c blowing on me. I was asleep by 7pm.

I just kept muttering “it’s for Girl Scouts. it’s for Girl Scouts.”

The thing that makes me super happy?

No work this weekend. AND this time next week?

I’ll be waking up at the lake, surrounded by family.

WHEEEEEEE!!!!

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8 More Days

The countdown to FamilyPalooza 2014 is at 7 Days 23 hours and counting.

I went over to our Cousinpalooza blog and refreshed on our adventure from last year. This  morning I drank coffee out of my mug from Bucky’s. I’ve been making mental checklists for the past two weeks:

movie projector and film: check

giant floating island: check

ice cream maker: check

coffee pot and bean grinder: check

arrangements for Winnie: check

I have 7 more days of working. Two of which require working out doors in the nasty ass heat that is finally upon us this summer.

Girl Scouts had the opportunity to staff a concession booth at the US Sr. Open golf tourney happening at Oak Tree National this week. I’m working tomorrow and have lined up volunteers to staff the booth on Friday. Tomorrow is allegedly our first day hitting 100 degrees.

Oy with the golf already.

But it’s a chance to make some money, and I chose the Tornado Shelter Campaign to receive the funds from Friday’s work and it’s all for a good cause and I’ll get to hang out with friends from my real life which is a treasure in itself so it will all be just fine.

I’m just really ready to hang out with my family. Really really ready.

Tonight we’re having band rehearsal. We’ve set the date for a gathering at our house to be our first “gig” and making it a sort of Welcome Home to Trish and Bruce as well as a Hey Friends Come Over and get boozy and listen to us play/sing. We are narrowing down names and have a pretty solid set list. I have a few songs that I get to sing with either Brad or Mark. Lisa is learning some places to join in with her fiddle. It’s all in good fun, but I really am loving it. I miss performing.

The weekend kind of knocked me off my WW adventure. I haven’t weighed in in two weeks, work interfered one Friday, they were closed last week, and I’ll be at Oak Tree this week. Gotta go Thursday and just own whatever that number is.

My garden is blossoming. The tomatoes are *this close to bursting forth into ripeness. The peppers are coming along. The container corn is…I don’t know if it’s actually going to make real corn. Right now it’s likely some Tom Hanks corn. Fun size. I’ve got plans for some Fall plantings and each morning I go out, water, nurture, drink my coffee, look at the birds eating their food and just soak it all in.

So the summer seems to be moving along at a fast pace. Before we know it the reunion will be behind us, August and recruitment events will be upon us, then we’ll be in Santa Fe and Colorado and then holy hells bells the all beloved Football Season and all things pumpkin flavor.

It’s easy to wish it all away, isn’t it?

 

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Literally, Blessed.

The weekend was a mix of all the things one wants out of their break.  We rested, we listened to music all day without turning on the television. We saw Mark’s family for a brief moment, we had a Summer Breeze concert. All nice things.

My favorite pieces of the weekend were the pieces that contained gathering with friends.

Friday evening we went to the music store and got Mark the pieces he needed to do some refurbishing on the banjo. He spent the entire evening working on it and I read my Outlander book. It was the epitome of a quiet life and I loved it.

Saturday morning was our first doggie playdate! Brad and Lisa have graciously offered to keep Winnie while we are gone to Familypalooza in a few weeks. We knew that Winnie had a really strong personality and just hasn’t been socialized that much with other dogs. They have a crew of three, and after asking our professional dog trainer Elizabeth for advice on how to approach this, we introduced them quite successfully. I think we were all a little nervous. I know Lisa and I were. But it went beautifully. There were a few snarls and snips and that’s to be expected. I have no qualms (other than just the fact that I’m leaving my dog) about leaving my dog in their care. She will have so much fun, when they finally break the barrier and become running buddies. I am beyond thankful for their offer of care for our girl.

We talked of our future camping vacation to New Mexico and Colorado coming up the end of August, and made some 4th of July plans. All things that make me so happy!

We really did nothing during the day. We had music playing in the house, I worked in the flowerbeds a little then decided it was too hot and I needed to lay under the cool fan and read my book some more. We tinkered and lazed around until it was time to get ready to go to the house blessing.

Our friend and neighbor Anne had a house blessing party on Saturday night. There were about 10 of her friends, including her Reverend and a friend just out of seminary who had put together the most beautiful ceremony for the house. There was a bowl of water, prayed over and blessed, and a piece of greenery from her garden used to sprinkle. In each space there was a moment taken to honor the space, what happens there, and a prayer of blessing and sprinkling of water. We began outside with the front porch/front yard. It was a prayer of blessing for every coming and going from that space, and for grace over each companion and friend gathering there.

We went through the entire house, even blessing the back door where Ruppe and Emmit, Anne’s two dogs, come and go. It was truly lovely. I want to do that here when I finally get settled in, in a few years. I’ll maybe add a bit of sage and incense to mine but mostly I want it just like Anne’s. I can’t express how beautiful and grace-filled that whole evening was. I hope she feels it, too.

Since Mark had his banjo and his guitar there was music and a few libations that followed. It was all very, very lovely.

The cheery on top of this already delicious weekend was the text from PseudoSis Maegen that said, “we’re going to Neil and Kathys on Sunday if you’ll be around!”

“Sure! I’m in!”

“Great!”

“wait…what’s going on a Neil and Kathy’s?”

“SWIMMING!”

OHMYGOD A POOL ON A SUNDAY IN NORMAN????? WITH MY PSEUDOFAMILY?

It couldn’t have been better. I got to see Maggie and Shiny, Maegen and Michelle and Sandra and Shiny’s family! It was fun and laughter filled and relaxing and delightful. I can’t wait to do it again!

THEN… (I KNOW! It keeps getting better!) Bill text me and said he was going to be able to make Summer Breeze after all! WOOT! We gathered in the park, and I introduced him around a bit and we listened to some really fantastic music. The breeze was blowing, the stars were out. It was so relaxing and lovely.

Perfectly perfect Summer time weekend. I feel blessed. Literally blessed. :-)

 

Cheers to a short week for most of us. (Sorry sister that you have to work Friday. I wish you were coming to my house. boo.)

 

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Quiet Life

We really have been living the quiet life around here lately.

I could not love it more.

Work is in a really nice place before it gets crazy during recruitment season, neither of us are running ragged on projects. I mean, we have projects, but we aren’t away from home doing them.

After work, Mark has been working on refurbishing the old movie projector from MeMe and PaPa’s house for our family reunion. He’s also been working on Julie’s record player. I’ve been working on reading my latest Outlander novel, cooking healthy dinner’s at home, tending the garden. We take our nightly walks with Winnie and comment on the fireflies, the gorgeous landscaping, what we love about our neighborhood.

I woke up last night with anxiety dreams about the fact that our garage is chock full of stuff for our garage sale, the middle room is still as full of boxes is it ever was. July marks one year of my living in this house and that underlying “it’s not finished” is creeping in.

Yet I just want to go camping. We spent some time last evening researching places to go camping over our three day weekend, eventually deciding that we would stay here and maybe take some daytrips. Our last three day weekend was spent here with family, and while that was great we don’t get that many free weekends due to the Summer Breeze concerts so I just want to take advantage of them.  I am ready to just go away for a weekend in the trailer. Pack the dog, pack the camp chairs and let’s go.

This is where I tend to make zero sense. I want to do the work here to be truly settled in and unpacked and uncluttered. Yet I just want to be camping. want. want. want. want.

So ridiculous.

Today however, is cool and overcast and lovely. We have AllStaff meetings at Council so I’ll be around my co-workers and friends and that always pumps me up. We’ll watch the last half of the USA game at lunch and enjoy. Tonight Brad will come over and we’ll have our band rehearsal. I haven’t worked on my songs in about two weeks so the drive today will provide time for that. I still don’t know when we’re playing. First it was July, then it was August and now it’s up in the air. Tomorrow is my weigh in day and that’s always a nice feeling. 9.6 lbs down at this point and steadily moving along with that. Winnie has a playdate with Gracie & Co at the Raley’s on Saturday to see how she does with their dogs. If it works well, she will stay with them while we are at the lake next month.

Lot’s of things…yet still nice and quiet.

Just like I like it.

Happy Thursday

 

 

 

 

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